Tigger Products Meet Opposition in Hundred Acre Wood

Dr. Piglet in his lab.

Dr. Piglet in his lab.

After two years of protesting the use of free range Tiggers to produce furry products for wear and consumption activist Rabbit is developing a hundred acre wide revolt against Piggie Pooh’s, the only seller of all products Tigger. This news comes on the eve of Christopher Robbins’ announcement that he is none other than Charlie Sheen, the man who has funded doctors Piglet and Pooh’s research from its very inception. Robbins (Sheen), who has admitted he maintains his youthful appearance by drinking pure, unfiltered Tigger blood, claims that “All Tiggers are volunteers and are treated in a tiggerific manner at all times. ” However, Rabbit disagrees.

“Tiggers are dying in these labs for no greater purpose other than Robbins’ desire to stay young. He calls it “winning!”, but it’s murder. I’m excited about reaching a permanent ending to Tigger abuse everywhere. I’m trying to get to the point where we’re on every TV in every home. The populace need to know what is happening, and I really want to expand what we all think of as fashionable — not just for Tiggers, but for the health of all.”

Sheriff Eeyore contributed, “It’s pointless, but we’re fighting Piggie Pooh’s anyway. Maybe, Rabbit can pull a human out of his hat, but I doubt it.”

Doctors Piglet and Pooh could not be reached for questioning, but their lawyer, Owl, touted, “My clients are working within the law to make sure the adoring public has its greatest desires filled. We cannot be stopped. We will not be stopped. We are here to serve you.”

Look for Rabbit’s debut broadcast starting February 2, 2014 at noon on channel 100. It promises to be thumping with knowledge.
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